shit i bought and liked no. 2: douchey allure

Shitters! Honestly, calling you that was a joke, but now I’m kinda into it? It’s week two and I am b a c k with some more useful shit. This week we’re getting a little niche, BUT this is both a revelation and cheap, so I feel like you should let me off the hook?

Let’s talk AirPods. No, AirPods are not my rec, though like Kim K. (the patron saint of this newsletter, apparently), I will always ride for my man pods. I’ve read the trend pieces. I actually spent a while resisting their douchey allure (are you still allowed to call things “douchey” in 2019?). But here’s the deal:

  • Imagine I spent a couple lines here opening with practical points like battery life and sound quality. They check all the boxes, yada yada.
  • They are good for working out: If you’re a runner who wears necklaces, you will never have to deal with your jewelry getting tangled around your headphones, which never fails to make me Bruce Banner mad. You also won’t accidentally pump your arm through cords and knock your phone off a treadmill (truly hate to see it). If you’re a person who lifts weights, you can do a deadlift without idk… tucking your phone into your leggings? Knocking it off a bench every time you try to move? What did I do before pods? A real BC-AD situation.
  • They are good for avoiding conversation in situations you just don’t have the energy for: AirPod etiquette requires taking them out while in a checkout line or similar situations, but they’re great for a “can’t right now, sooooo sorry” vibe when you need a minute (or 45 in the Lyft home from LAX).
  • If you’re a person who couldn’t give two shits about working out and/or loves to do small talk, perhaps pods are not worth the price, but they do make you look cool as hell, and can you really put a price on that? (Apple did, though apparently there is a $40 alternative that some seem to think is the real deal—I’ve never tried, but feel free to take a page from Eric Swalwell and be bold.)

For those of you who are already believers, or who find yourself in need of a cheap and useful thing to give someone who is, this AirPods case ($8, Amazon) is why we are gathered here today. Pods are pretty easy to lose, and the world will laugh mercilessly when you do because you spent a lot of money on something that no one really needs. The world does not want to see someone who makes choices like this win. But I, human who also does things like this from time to time, sympathize with your plight, and so does the carabiner (lil clippy thing) on this silicone sleeve. Slip the case on, attach the clip to your keys, and voila—no tail-between-your-legs trip to the Apple store necessary. You are welcome.  

Are you a #NeverPodder? Next week we’re going full Luddite, just for you! Promise. Forward this to a fellow podhead, or send ‘em the link to sign up:  

Note: If you buy something from these affiliate links, I might make a few cents. Not trying to go to FTC jail, tyvm.

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