shit i bought and liked no. 4: the power of chemicals

My sweet shitters, today we are discussing an affliction that plagues us all: WRINKLES.

Not the skin kind, though even the most babyfaced of us are not safe from those either. Sidenote: if you have a retinol you recommend, slide into these DMs, I beg of you!

I’m talking about the kind of wrinkles that etch themselves into your clothes if you don’t transfer your laundry from washer to dryer within the first five seconds of the load being done.

“But Priyanka,” you say. “Is this not why they invented irons??” And to you I say this: Yes. Of course it is. But do I seem like the kind of person who has the time/patience/shits to give to pull out an IRON for a shirt I’m wearing to drinks I’m already 10 minutes late for??? If I do, congrats to me for cultivating such a great impression with someone who clearly has never met me. But I will not delude myself into thinking this is the case with you, shitters. You are much too smart for delusions, and much too busy to iron whenever you feel like wearing a cotton blend.

Enter Downy Wrinkle Releaser (Amazon, $8 for two). They’re travel-sized spray bottles filled with a concoction that literally melts wrinkles, there’s no other way to explain it. Put your wrinkliest top on a hanger, spray liberally, give the hanger a little shake, and behold—the power of chemicals! If only there was a face-wrinkle product that worked like this. GET ON IT, DOWNY.

I know this probably contains a shitton of substances that are pushing me and the rest of the planet towards our inevitable deaths, buuuuut I’m sure Liz Warren’s got a plan for that coming any day now so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But forreal, there are many times you don’t have the time for/access to an iron. This is great for travel (if you don’t have time to iron, you sure as shit don’t have time to fold), your gym bag, a post-subway spritz in the summer, etc. My only warning: Don’t try and spray this when the clothes are on your body. If you do, the wrinkles won’t come out as well, and you’ll smell like you tried to use air freshener as a perfume (not the expensive kind that comes out of a diffuser—I mean Febreze).

Alright, there you have it—my weekly wisdom. ENJOY!
 

As always, I am avoiding arrest and disclosing that these are affiliate links. I am not famous enough for my mugshot to be chic, but maybe if you send this to enough friends I will be!!

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