shit i bought and liked no.7: prime day shit

Shitters! On account of Amazon Prime Day this is an 🚨💩EMERGENCY SHIT🚨💩 (too much?). I figured if you all were gonna be buying a bunch of shit you don’t actually need already (get that Instant Pot, you’ll tooootally use it), why not throw a lil something extra into that cart. (Sidenotes: Amazon is killing the Earth, you don’t need to select the fastest shipping option if you don’t need your shit ASAP, I wonder how things are going with Bezos and “alive girl,” etc etc etc.) 

Today we’re ranting about some Shit I Didn’t Buy and Don’t Like: pimples, which apparently do not go away after you turn 18 (WHICH I HAVE, @EVERY TSA PERSON ALIVE). 

Regardless of age, gender, whatever, finnicky skin is not fun. It shouldn’t fuck with your confidence, but sometimes it does. Especially when we’re living through the age of nonmakeup makeup and skincare obsession and filters and FaceTune and the like. 

This is not to say that any of this should make you feel insecure. If you have skin that doesn’t really act up, or if you aren’t really bothered if/when it does, keep “doing you,” as the people say (I’m not sure what exactly I hate about that phrase but ugh, gross.) Phrase aside, the following is purely a rec for people who get blemishes and get annoyed by them.

These CosRX Pimple Master Patches (Amazon, $11 for 4 sheets) were an impulse buy after a particularly egregious chocolate binge left my skin not looking its best (we all handle stress in our own unhealthy ways, ok), and BOY DID THEY DELIVER. 

These are little stickers you put right on top of a whitehead to extract the gunk that’s built up inside of your face (pleasant, I know). You slap em on at night, send a few Snapchats, and go to bed while they sit on your skin. In the morning you can literally see what they pull out. Mildly gross, but altogether quite satisfying. Plus, if they’re covering any of the aforementioned blemishes, YOU CAN’T PICK AT THEM! Which means less scarring/hyperpigmentation/scabby things that you know you should leave alone but are simply incapable of, etc.

You by no means have to be skincare-obsessed to use these (OR A GIRL). They’re affordable, easy to use, and work veeeery quickly. May we all come together and free the innocent pores from the afflictions they did nothing to deserve. PRAYER EMOJI. 

So ya, Happy Prime Day (to those who observe). That’s the end of the rec, but before you go, I need your help. I kinda want to find a natural deodorant. I want to for all the reasons you want a natural anything, but the thing is I also sweat sometimes? Wow, love to email tons of strangers about sweating and acne! Hot girl summer amirite? But dear readers, if you have any intel in this department, please send it my way. TYSM.

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These are affiliate links bc mama’s gotta eat. And by “mama” I mean me—mother of absolutely nothing except this newsletter and a houseplant. Bye.

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