Ok. You know something is good when it throws off my entire content calendar (aka the order of the three-ish drafts I have saved in Google docs at any given time of shit I bought and liked and plan to share in the coming weeks). This was a random grocery store find that SKYROCKETED its way to the top of the list because I was that inspired after finishing my first jar in (insert heavy grimace emoji here) three days. Self-control is hard.
Anywho! The only natural reaction aside from immediately purchasing more was documenting it for you all. What can I say, a la Kamala, this shit is FOR THE PEOPLE (except uh… maybe not the people of Iowa).
During my weekly Whole Foods run for the few ~brand name~ things that TJ’s doesn’t have great alts for, I was ambling down the nut butter aisle. I’m typically a huge fan of nuts, but I’ve been taking it easy on them for the past few weeks because my millennial tummy is battling a bout of burnout, so this was a bit of a masochistic endeavor, but ultimately fruitful!
During my brief pass I spotted Granola Butter ($13, $33/3). This was all the rage with food influencer IG people about a year ago maybe? But I hadn’t seen it since and frankly forgot that it existed (not in the Lover-era Taylor Swift way). Regardless, I saw it and was intrigued enough to try.
Sidenote: I’m a huuuuge creature of habit when it comes to grocery shopping, and would be a perfectly happy camper sticking to my staples every week, but in the spirit of LIVING A LITTLE while not blowing through my dreaded Mint budgets, I’ll pick up something new to try every week or two along with my regular haul. Usually it’s a hard kombucha or a cheese (of the vegan variety). Unfortunately for those budgets of mine, this one’s getting bumped up to a standard grocery run staple.
So wtf is granola butter? It’s made of gluten-free oats, flax, olive oil, maple syrup, coconut oil, salt, and spices (so no nuts at all), and holy god it is good. Like spoon from the jar, have never even bothered putting this on anything else good. The texture is right between a chunky and smooth nut butter, and the flavor is spot on—your favorite toasted granola in spreadable form. PLUS, it’s completely nut/top 8 allergen-free, so school safe for the parent/teacher/pint-sized shitters out there (start em young, amirite).
I can only vouch for Original (so far), but mmmmmmMMMMmmmmm you guys. I consumed approximately three spoonfuls while writing this up and I am on a cloud. You must try.
Before I let you go to locate the nearest jar for yourself, we (I) have some housekeeping announcements: For the one fan at home (hi Cori!) who wrote in about a Shitters Amazon shop earlier this month, HERE IT IS. Peruse all the shit I’ve chronicled in one place at your leisure. You can also do that/sign up to get this in your inbox at the brand new, very high tech shitiboughtandliked.com! I am pivoting to web design as I am clearly very talented.
If like me, you’ve been on a minor spending embargo until Black Fri/Cyber Monday to make your big ticket purchases, stay strong. Final push. The end is near. I can see the light (and all the shit coming our way soon)!