shit i bought and liked no. 20: roast me to hell

Alright team, real question—are you gonna roast me to hell if I admit to enjoying some unnecessarily expensive shit? I mean, the NYPost tried (incredibly unsuccessfully) to do that to AOC this weekend, and seeing as I am equally beloved by the general public, it feels unwise to make that mistake!

REGARDLESS. I will brave the naysayers to share some SHIT. (The whole point of the rec is cleanliness, but it’s “shit” nonetheless.)

So it’s 2020, and you’re pretty much trash if you’re still using plastic water bottles. I know this, you know this, we all know this. But reusable water bottles (especially the fun/cool looking ones) are a pain in the ass to clean. Swells and Hydroflasks can’t go in a dishwasher (plus every bank/brand/business school is handing them out, so uh… cool vibe). The caps and straws from bottles that are supposed to be dishwasher-safe still, for the most part, get gross after a few months. It’s frustrating, especially if you’re just trying to keep your water handy (and cold), do something decent for the environment, and not ingest fungus. 

This general frustration, coupled with persistent Instagram ads/my friend Juliet’s expert shit-sourcing abilities led me to my sweet lil LARQ—the self-cleaning/water purifying bottle that is equal parts chic and just plain good at it’s job. Before we get into it, know that this is up there with Elizabeth Warren and Meet the Source balls as one of my current obsessions in life (though Liz beats out the bottle and the balls). 

BACK TO THE LARQ. It looks like something out of Kim and K*nye’s psychotic empty house, which, duh, yes, sold. But if you need form AND function, the cap has a mini UV purifier built into it, so you can use it to purify any sus water (from taps/dinky fountains), or just fill up as usual. Either way, it cleans your bottle/the water once every two hours, and a single recharge lasts over a month.

I have spent three blissful months with mine and do not regret this splurge one bit (cost per use ratio, people). The water stays cold and the bottle stays clean—isn’t it just nice when something does exactly what it says it will? No, I am not PROJECTING, leave me alone.

If expensive shit is not your thing—rest easy. I have more Earth-friendly shit that may be up your alley. My favorite humans at OSEA Malibu, the clean/non-toxic skincare line of my dreams, are doing a lil Leap Year deal and ~going back in time~ with their prices. No, this is not some Marianne Williamson shit (though… could I be suckered into reading her book in pursuit of a happier life? Yes, I 1000% could.) They’re taking all their prices back to what they were when they first launched in 1996, so uh… STOCK UP, people. I’m obsessed with the Ocean Cleanser/Ocean Cleansing Mudd, the Atmosphere Protection Cream, and the Hyaluronic Sea Serum, but their site has products broken down by skin type/concern, so check out what’s best for you.As always, happy shitting! If someone sent you this newsletter, sign up to get it yourself at I love hearing from you, so keep sending me your thoughts/feedback/favorite shit, and I promise I will compile all the amazing responses I got last time VERY SOON.

These are affiliate links, meaning that if you like/buy things from this newsletter, I might make some $ from it! That would be very cool! TY!

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