Guys. When I first drafted this email, the opening was about Bernie, Liz, private insurance, and a saga that was not entirely unlike the life story of a food blogger you’d find atop a recipe for banana nut muffins. That all feels woefully irrelevant now, so I have PIVOTED. Why do I even bother with prewrites?
The tl/dr on the whole now-deleted story: My back is bad. I used to do physical therapy. Eh. Then I tried cupping and acupuncture. That helped! But my insurance stopped covering cupping/acupuncture, so now I don’t do it anymore. Isn’t our healthcare system cool?
In the midst of a pandemic, you may notice that your priorities and perspective shift a bit. While my dumb back is no longer anywhere near the top of my current concerns, it remains true that private insurance can/will pull this shit with things that sound a little less “woo-woo West Coast granola lib” than my canceled acupuncture appts, so, ya know, keep that in mind when you vote.
Anywho. I’m not the only one whose back hurts and a lot of the standard options for relief/relaxation are generally off the table at the moment, so I thought we all could benefit from this back massager suggestion, courtesy of my roommate Alex.
Holy. shit. you. guys. This is the reeeeallll deal. It’s a portable back massager that’s basically a cushion you prop behind your back while you’re sitting down, and it’s GREAT.
The pressure is strong, it kneads well, it even heats up (!!!) and there’s none of that stupid mani/pedi massage chair shit where it starts pummeling your spine like that psychotic man on the plane (this reference was a lot more timely when I was doing this prewrite, I swear).
It’s light and portable—I usually borrow it from Alex while I’m on the couch watching TV or hunching over my computer for the 15th hour of the day—and I actually feel its work in the moment and in the days after, which is more than I can say for most massages. Plus, at $50, it’s cheaper than most one-off massages too, and you can use it FOREVER! I will use a cost per use ratio whenever it helps me build a case for an otherwise frivolous-seeming purchase, and I will not be convinced otherwise.
But forreal, if you’re able to entertain the thought of impulse buying this back massager, you can probably also spare a few bucks to donate to this Coronavirus Relief Fund. It contributes to a few different groups supporting communities in need and organizations supplying the frontlines at this time—all worthwhile causes, so throw them some $ if you haven’t already. And in the meantime, keep tipping your delivery people well, staying in your home as much as possible, and not doing anything stupid. (This is my way of saying that I hope you’re staying safe and healthy and sane and I love you all).
To avoid ending on a genuinely heartfelt note, I will now ask you for a face mask rec (of the skincare variety—NOT an N-95), because despite the fact that I am not wearing a lick of makeup, my face has decided to reward me by STILL BREAKING OUT! Bravo! Send ‘em in, team.