Shitters. At the moment there are a lot of highly influential people out there telling you to vote. Michelle Obama. LeBron James. Those guys who do Pod Save America. All of which got me thinking—I too am a *highly* influential person. I mean, here I am influencing all of you on a regular basis! It’s high time I get my own voting initiative.
Enter Shit the Vote. The name is about as far as I’ve gotten, but I think I’m onto something here. For now, if you need any help with this voting thing (how to do it, when to do it, who to do it for) votesave.us/shit has you covered. Yes I made myself a link. THIS IS A PROFESSIONAL OPERATION, I AM A VOTING INFLUENCER NOW.
But I think that Shit the Vote’s real value lies in what you know/love us for: impulse buys—but this time, for GOOD. What follows is a roundup of all the best voting merch across the internet. I’m talking t-shirts, sweatshirts, bucket hats, the works! All in the name of retail therapy, supporting the people doing the work, and turning yourself (or your family/friends/pets/babies, etc.) into human billboards for democracy. What could be better?!
- The Tee in Vote (Michael Stars x Gloria Steinem): Chic! Wearable! Tiny embroidered Gloria! Love the white on black, and that they’ve committed $50,000 of sales to Black Voters Matter, Voto Latino, and March On.
- Biden/Harris Barbie Sweatshirt (Etsy): Yes ok, this is bootleg merch, but it’s sooooooooooo good. You’re on Zooms all day. The weather’s starting to cool down. It’s not like you couldn’t use some more loungewear. Plus, under $30?! *Angelina from Jersey Shore voice* Um, HELLO??!
- Vote Tank (Corroon x I Am A Voter): This reminds me something Amanda Kloots would wear, which means something to maybe 5% of you, but it’s a good thing! I for one think this would make a very fun addition to my workout clothes drawer.
- Vote Dad Hat (Vote.org): I see you, Debra Cleaver!!!!! (There are a lot of very confused people reading this right now and maybe five who loled). This is a simple, standard, go-with-everything hat, and each purchase benefits vote.org and their efforts to increase voter turnout.
- Aviator Blue Dress Socks (Biden Victory Fund): For those of you being dragged back to the office by corporations that definitely care about your safety and wellbeing… we’ve got shit for that!
- Voter Hand Tee (Phenomenal Voter x Ambrojah): As far as voting t-shirts go, this is the least overpriced, and supports a bunch of phenomenal causes.
- Joe Biden Bucket Hat (Biden Victory Fund): Am I really about to buy this overpriced bucket hat in support of Joe Biden…? Yea fine, you got me.
- Vote Crewneck (Lingua Franca): I’ve waited patiently for a Lingua Franca for long enough and I will happily accept this one. ok??? They donate 10% of the proceeds which is actually a good amount because these are so fucking expensive, but hey—we’re making a difference here, ok?
- Vote Charm (Zoe Chicco): Ok, I liked By Chari’s now iconic “VOTE” necklace, but let’s be real—how much use are you gonna get out of that thing? I will admit I spend money on some very impractical things, but this is an infinitely more wearable option. It’s subtle, chic, and you can add it easily to a necklace that you already wear.
- Save Some Planet For Me Onesie (Crooked): Turn some lucky baby into sleeping propaganda for your liberal agenda! Pro-tip: if you sign up for the site’s email list, you’ll get a 10% off code, and even more psychotic emails from me (but don’t worry, my best work will always be here).
- VSA White Claw Koozies (Crooked): I am morally opposed to giving my employer this much free coverage (give me an affiliate link you cowards!), but White Claw koozies???!! Kinda iconic.
See! Shit the Vote CAME THROUGH. Now gimme that 501c4 status and let’s make this shit official. If you were into this, subscribe over on shitiboughtandliked.com so we can do this more often, and get your shit together re: all things voting over on votesave.us/shit.
46 DAYS TO MAKE IT COUNT!