shit i bought and liked no. 34: a foolproof formula for nye

Much has been said about New Years Eve. Some of you completely fucking hate it. I’ve been there—at a bar with an exorbitant cover in frigid Chicago with zero eligible bachelors in sight. My entrance into 2018 was NOT A GREAT ONE, except for when the girl shoving her way past me in the coat check line said I was pretty. The power of a well-timed compliment!! Others relish the excitement—the thrill of a new outfit, a surprise suitor at midnight, endless possibilities for how the night will unfold alongside your favorite people and some very good looking strangers. I’ve been there too! 

However, that is not the case this year. This year we will all be couch potatoes by default. And I have some experience with those NYE’s too. When 2018 became 2019 I was determined to not repeat the WOAT NYE, and I gotta say, my friend Neha and I really did well. We secured a LARGE takeout order from one of our favorite spots (sushi), wore extremely comfortable outfits (elastic waistbands are key), had a nice batch of desserts waiting (her pistachio/rosewater addition to this shortbread base is truly divine), pilfered this not too sweet/not too expensive champagne from her parents, and watched the Taylor Swift Reputation Stadium Tour on Netflix until the countdown, after which we immediately started the most psychotic television series on Earth—You

It was a pretty foolproof formula for a successful at-home NYE. The only thing I’d add to the equation this year are Foot Masks (2 sets/$30). These are essentially little plastic bags you secure around your feet while you’re watching TV (or generally sitting upright doing anything) for an hour, and then discard. In the next few days to a week or so, your feet start to shed their dry, cracked, generally unappealing foot skin. It’s completely painless, but a little gnarly, so definitely plan on wearing socks (these so completely swagless that they’re actually kinda cool Hanes ones have become my new everyday go-to’s). And then boom—BABY SOFT FEET. I swear to you, even the best pedicure of all time could never. 

You know what they say—”new year, new you feet.” Between now and our official return to work (dreading it already), you’re gonna be parked in front of a TV anyways, so why not? $30 is a little pricier than the typical Amazon impulse buy, but they come with two sets (share with a friend), thousands of overly enthusiastic reviews, and though I know better than to post my feet pics on the internet (for free), I can definitely confirm THEY WORK.

Speaking of elastic waistbands, it appears that Entireworld is the sweatsuit brand of choice for the Shitters community (I am waiting patiently for that lilac restock email). I’m also intrigued by Quince, which a few of you mentioned as being wildly affordable/sustainable in addition to meeting the soft/comfy prerequisites. I’d never heard of it before, but the site is giving me Everlane 2.0 vibes with a lot of wildly affordable cashmere?? MAY HAVE TO INVESTIGATE. You know, for the community.

However you’re celebrating the new year (unless it’s at a large unsanctioned maskless gathering), know that I am wishing you a very happy almost 2021. Feel free to subscribe to this newsletter right here if you don’t already, and please do not reply to this with pics of your shedding feet.


These are affiliate links and I am disclosing that because my 2021 goals include remaining free from FTC jail! 

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